Nowhere Near Paradise
by Trial of Ash
Summary: How do angels fall? Kuro x Fay, Oneshot


**Author's notes:**

This fic has taken the liberty of tweaking with religious contents; I would like to inform you dear readers that it may contain materials that could be deemed as offensive. Thus, I would like to offer my apologies first, but do remember everything written here is fiction…

Please leave me a review to tell me if you like it or not...?

Thanks!

_We lay entwined within _

_The forgotten flowers of this garden _

_Whispering to each other the language of adoration_

_Loving each other as sinners does_

_Waiting for retribution to befall us_

_As we consume this love_

_Indulging in this unadulterated dark pleasure_

_We are chained by this burning steel from hell_

_Committed eternally to the sin of lust_

**Nowhere Near Paradise**

It was only because he loved Life that he was able to welcome Death. But the Angel of Death was meant to live in darkness along with the fallen…he could not bear to see the tinge of desire in a heart as pure as the Angel of Life. His dearest and most beloved angel who no longer holds him supreme…was he capable of resentment and jealousy? Him…? The Father…who knows all things good and every other sin, who holds the destiny of every mortal and what should preside over the darkness in oneself?

Yes…he could because the darkness that exists in everyone originated from his very being…the celestial ions and spiritual flakes that is the creator of all…

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Death scrutinized obsessively over every action and every word spoken by Life, wondering what exactly was it and why he found Life so mesmerizing. He raked his eyes over alabaster skin and blindingly white feathers caressed by the lights of Heaven and back up to bright azure eyes. Perfection in his namesake, such a vivid dazzling and spirited being…Angel of Life…the one who breathes life's first breathe into every creature that walks upon the mortal world. He crouched down on his perch upon the lower walls that surrounds Life's abode as he soothed down the dark raffled feathers on his back, smiling as he noticed Life's acknowledgement of his presence.

He, the Angel of Death…welcomes the release of a life…death was a celebration to him. Each end represents a new start. He used to call back each soul with sanctity and reverence, welcoming them back into the hands of the Father and onto this fertile spiritual realm, but now it was done with an unexplainable haste. Because where with every end under his hands, he knows Life was waiting for him on the other side and there would be this great longing to see the other angel as soon as possible.

He knew this feeling was wrong but he couldn't keep it contained either.

Angels of Life and Death, they were created by the hands of the Father, created before time knew history. Their duties was to keep a continuous cycle of life after Adam and Eve, borne to be the best partners of Existence and like all angels created in the likeness of the Father, they were not taught the frilly emotions of mortal love. Oh…they do know of it and it's mechanism, but Father had cast their hearts in stone so that none of them will follow in the footsteps of Adam and Eve. Even so the cracks that encase their hearts were showing up, and vaguely they felt a strange stirring within each other…towards each other. But they understood not the depth and meanings of these new emotions, only holding them in check with a sort of confusion.

They seek virtue by not surrendering to the nameless desire flittering between them, trying to find another sort of peace by denying the chaos within their hearts. But with each passing millennia the benign tumor that lay within their hearts grew larger and larger, until they could not withstand the dull throbbing ache. By now Life was no longer ignorant of what was growing between them, neither was Death…though they knew they should be unresponsive and mind their business, they were also very aware of the fact that they were no longer in a state of inviolacy.

And Life no longer dares to acknowledge Death's approach because he knows very well that there will be no consent and celebration for their cause.

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Life turned towards the red-eye angel as he felt him land on one of the lower walls again. He was starting to feel exasperated. Why won't Death understand? Hasn't he realized that their principle of existence was not one of togetherness but one of separation? They were not simple angels but ones who are the force behind the continuality of the mortal realm that the Father had so lovingly created. They had no excuse to fall as like Lucifer did, so there was no reason for Death to persist on what was written to be futile. Obviously his heart doesn't agree as it thumps elatedly at the sight of the dark angel.

'_Be still my traitorous heart…' _Life reprimanded.

But angels are not immune to forbidden thoughts, and _that_ holds the greatest temptation as the whispers of desires propelled them on a journey to each other. They knew of what was ahead and the inevitable plunge they would have to take in order to fall. Life stood by the porch facing his treasured garden, a showcase of the most beautiful blooms enhanced by his life pulse. If ever he was accused of committing one of the seven sins, he was sure Vanity would be one of them because there was nothing he was more proud of then this garden.

Death settled down on the wall and folded those cumbersome robes about him, eyes daring Life to look at him. But he barely turned in his direction. Death figured he had the time to spare with his duties duly done, so he sat there with a resolute expression and waited. Life was visibly showing signs of duress, which was what he wanted. He wanted Life to see him, to know exactly what his intentions were.

Life held back a sigh. He could do nothing if Death was so intent on harnessing the attention of the Father. Mortals were wrong when they thought that the Father was all seeing…like all great emperors and Kings, they had spies under their allegiance collecting vital information about the world outside their palace and castles. Likewise for the Father: he had plenty of angels. Despite being the all powerful being, his reaches were only that wide and a certain dependency was needed. Dominion angels were created for that purpose. They preside over great nations in the mortal world and states of the spiritual realm with many other angels of lower ranks under them, relaying information here and there. It was only because they were beloved by the Father that they were not placed under the direct scrutiny of the Dominions. It would be a different story though should Death willfully continues this…this…unwanted thing between them.

Because Life could not bear to hear the truth spoken by their hearts, he could not bear to look into the other's eyes and abide to the waves of yearning roiling within them. Life thought it would be so much better if they hadn't an eternity to live but only a lifetime. At least a few decades of uncertain loneliness would cease to breed a bitterness carved out of millenniums upon millenniums of unrequited…emotions.

So really…they have nothing to talk about.

Nothing at all.

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Death narrowed his eyes and flapped his great dark wings with impatience. If Life continues to ignore him, he will intrude into his abode to make his stand. He knows Life will be easily swayed because he was sure the vibes that he was reading from Life's were the exact replica of his own sentiments. How was he able to deny the tangles that linked them both and act as if it was a nonentity? How complicating…

"Fay…" he called out instead and watched as Life turned towards him with fury sparkling in azure eyes. It was a name only the Father could use or when he was summoned.

"You are not to call me by this name!" Life exclaimed vehemently in anger as he flapped his pearlescent wings, almost knocking Death down from the wall with the amount of force radiating from that action.

Death expended his wings in retaliation and threw Life back against a pillar not far behind, descending from the wall at the same time.

"Why are you resisting this?" Death hissed at Life as he gripped the slender shoulders and pressed the white angel further against the pillar.

"Do you really want us to end up in damnation? Shed away the responsibility of self-determination and sin against the Father? We cannot afford to end up like Lucifer…There is great darkness that we have yet to fathom out there. What can we do?" Life asked back as he pushed against the weight of Death's body upon him.

"We will live and experience lov…"

"Don't say the word…else the Dominions will be upon us…" Life whispered as he cupped his hand across Death's lips, halting the forbidden word from being spoken.

Death pulled the hand off and pressed harder against Life, daring him to deny the frisson of passion that exists between them.

"What are you afraid of? This isn't an untouchable fire." Death replied as he leaned his face closer to Life's.

"But it is one that we won't escape unscathed from." Life answered softly as he stared deploringly at crimson eyes to release him

"I'm willing to pay the price for it. If I can't return so be it! I had enough of this place, if it weren't for you I would have taken the plunge and fallen a long time ago."

"How could you spew such blasphemy?" Life cried out as he bucked against Death and turned his face away. He felt ashamed when he heard the profession for he could never muster the courage to be that honest to himself. Ever since he had a consciousness, Heaven was everything he had known. Father's words and teachings, the son he had sacrificed to the mortal realm for the sake of redemption and the other angels who had become his brothers and sisters. Could he really leave everything and fall just to taste what being truly alive meant?

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Death waited as he willed his frayed nerves to calm down. This was the best opportunity he has to convince Life to come with him. He was immensely thankful that Life had agreed to come see him, if it wasn't more proof that Life does feel something for him too. He sat down on the boulder behind him and looked around the barren landscape. The only dot of green that marked the barren landscape was the crown of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

The Garden of Eden, this was the place where the great rivers. Pison, Gihon, Hidekkel and Euphrates once flowed, where the most majestic creatures roamed and where the most bountiful plants grew. Now, after the betrayal of Adam and Eve and Lucifer it was left alone for good and without the loving hands of the Father, the garden withered. Its beauty only remembered through the records owned by the Father's most trusted angels, the Seraphim.

He wished he was birthed from on the same day as Adam and Eve and that he had known Lucifer as a closer companion. Because then, maybe he could understand what really happened and why the Father had taken away the angels' ability to love. Was love truly so destructive and wasn't Father being selfish then when he had so generously blessed the mortals with it? Then again, if the ability to love was taken away from them…why did he and Life feel the way they did? Was it not love then? But this was not the time to be caught up in an angel's philosophical dilemma; he had better things to think about right now.

He turned and looked in the direction where he thought he heard the faint flapping of wings, and was mesmerized by the sight of Life soaring in the air against a backdrop of fluffy white clouds. The white angel was a wondrous sight indeed, every fiber of his being was filled with celestial beauty. It was no wonder that the Father favored him so much; it was also no wonder that almost half of the angels in the kingdom had sung praises of him in hymns. Where in the mortal realm he was often portrayed as the sinister image of an angel with sunken features covered with a dark hood and broken wings, Life was often portrayed as an angel filled with holy light and beauty. He wished the foolish mortals will realized that all angels were created with splendor and exquisiteness for they were the Father's most loved.

He watched Life land gracefully on a patch of grass beside him and slowly tucked his wings behind him. Life glanced at him with questioning eyes before sitting himself down on the space right beside Death, startling the red-eye angel with his sudden willingness to be close. Neither of them spoke as they looked into the distance at the setting sun in the west, both admiring the faint dusting of purples and pinks on the clouds. It was a phenomenal scene from day to night, though they never really managed to find out if the Father was truly the one who created this vastness of black space above them. They never dared questioned the powers of the Father, and if there were an Angel of the Sun and Moon, they had never seen or heard from him. As the horizon darkens and shadows cast and merged themselves into the scenery surrounding them, Life's plaintive voice spoke up.

"So…?"

Death took a deep breathe before speaking.

"I don't know where to go or what to do if I don't know how you feel…"

Life couldn't see clearly what Death's expression was like in the darkness for there was no moon to illuminate their sights. But it was fairly evident from the tone of his voice that he was being sincere about every word spoken.

"I do feel for you, Death. But if we take the plunge, what happens next? What about our celestial duties? We can't just throw away everything." Life replied.

"There are many others waiting to take over our duties. Father only needs to grant them the power to do so and it will be done!" Death said for it was true. Not everything was peaceful even in the kingdom of Heaven, some angels closed to being fallen luminaries plotted against each other to be the favored ones, each fighting tooth and nail to be one step closer to the light of the heavenly throne.

Life stood up as he registered the insanity of the idea.

"This is never going to work!" he whispered harshly as he readied his wings for the ascent back to Heaven. He didn't feel comfortable in this forsaken garden and the meaning was not lost to him when Death wanted them to meet here, especially since he had chosen to sit under the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The old tree was now gnarled and twisted but it was the only plant that still retained its youthful green, as if it was untouched by time. But the tree no longer bore any fruits since the banishment of Adam and Eve.

Death's heart skipped a beat as his mind descended into a blind panic. No! He could not allow Life to slip away from his grasp again, he thought as he stood up and grabbed hold of Life's fluttering sleeve, halting the angel's movement. He stepped closer to Life and pulled the white angel flushed against him, enjoying the feel of his body against his.

"Give me this much at least…" Death whispered as he bent down to capture Life's soft plaint lips.

Life couldn't gather his wits in time to garner a reaction so he only stared wide eye at the determined features of the dark angel as he came down upon him. As soon as the sensual curves of those lips touched his, he shoved at the dark angel protesting against the act, feeling shamed that he had allowed Death to overpower him. But Death didn't let go, only held him tighter and those lips that have molded themselves against his sizzled with a kind of heat that the white angel was completely ignorant of. But which still managed to drain the strength from his body.

Death smiled in triumph inwardly as he felt Life leaned against him unconsciously and experimented by swiping his tongue over the white angel's lower lip. The effect was devastating on the dark angel's control as Life gave a surrendering moan as he parted his lips, allowing Death to deepen the kiss. He thought it was amazing to be able to taste what he thought he could never have. That cleansing scent so full of vitality washed through him and he tasted what he thought was the nectar of life. Death expended his great creaturely wings and enclosed the both of them within its wide expense, joining with the tip of the white angel's wings.

He thought Life didn't have to worry for he had already fallen.

Life knew it was too late when he reacted to the kiss. He wondered idly how an angel filled with the essence of morbidity should taste so divine, and then how was he able to taste that acrid sweetness if the tastebuds of an angel doesn't even exist? Were they truly that far gone? This desire between them was such an imperfection but there are no more excuses with this kiss, and prayers for strength and salvation would only deepen the betrayal towards the Father. He was intoxicated with everything that has to do with the dark angel and fall he would for the sake of this.

It was meant to be for how could it not?

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The speeding wind whipped mercilessly against their robes, and they could feel the force of it on their skin, only the cold wasn't so pronounced because they were normally immune to the discomfort caused by varying temperatures. Although that would change soon, Life thought wistfully. It was strange and he probably shouldn't be thinking this but the view from this angle of the world seemed so much more beautiful compared to when he was looking down from Heaven.

The mortal realm was so vivid and colorful everywhere and he realized why Death held so a lingering attachment to it. He never had much opportunity to visit the mortal realm, because unlike Death, his duties can be performed in Heaven itself. Death had to dropped by the mortal realm with the other angels under his commend in order to collect the souls, whose end were written in the Book of Fate.

"So we just jump…?" Life asked apprehensively as he looked down the length of the building they were on top of.

"…ah…huh…" Death provided him with a monosyllabic answer as he glanced over at Life with a confident smirk which honestly seemed very out of place at the moment. Life simply couldn't feel as enthusiastic as Death about the whole thing. The dark angel as if sensing his worries tried to assure the white angel, "you know…everything is fated to be forgotten no matter how tightly you hold on to them, and one day we will be forgotten too. Then we can live in peace…carve out a piece of paradise for ourselves. It's not impossible…" Death said as he fidgeted with Life's slender long fingers on his palm.

"We are pleasuring the Devil here, Death. Don't attempt to simplify the situation." Life replied in a reproachful tone as he looked at Death with a cynical expression.

"I just don't want you to hold back. This is a leap of faith…well out of faith I mean. If you're not determined…you're not going to survive this."

"Faith…we barely have the right to contemplate about it now." Life answered heavily in a wistful tone.

"Don't start regretting," Death whispered "can I call you Fay from now on?" he continued with a gentle smile.

"We'll see." Life said as he extended his hand towards the dark angel before stepping onto the edge of the wall.

"This is it then…Fay. I'll see you around." Death replied as he grabbed Life's hand, with a smile, they both stepped off the edge and dropped into a free fall, hearing nothing else but only the rush of the wind and the rapid beat of their hearts in their ears.

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_Five years later…_

Fay nudged at the tanned broad shoulder that wasn't covered by the blanket and smiled as irritation flittered across the handsome features. He heard the red-eye man mumbled a muffled plead for more sleep before a pillow was shoved unceremoniously in his face. He pouted as he threw the pillow back at his sleeping lover and aimed a playful kick at his upper thigh, and watched as the dark figure finally roused from sleep.

"You're late for work Kuro-sama…" Fay said in a sensual whisper knowing that his lover wakes up most morning feeling frisky.

"Humm…isn't it a Saturday today?" Kurogane said voice still thick with sleep as he carded a hand through his mussed up hair.

"Mmm…guess I woke you up a little too early then?" Fay said with his voice still low and seductive as he leaned forward and placed his palms on Kurogane's sun bronze torso, feeling the muscles ripple underneath his hands, savoring the warmth radiating from the man's bed warm body.

Kurogane smirked as he shifted and pulled Fay up to straddle his lap.

"Morn'…babe…" he mumbled against the crook of his lover's neck stealing tiny nibbles at the same time and feeling the blonde shiver at the sensation. It was a miracle that after so long the blonde still felt the same for him. There was a time where everything got so difficult that he worried that the blonde might regret what they had started out to do and walk away from it all. But he didn't and that tenacity only deepened his love for the blonde.

"Concentrate on the job at hand…Kuro-sama." Fay reprimanded teasingly knowing that his lover's stillness only meant that he was distracted and thinking about something else. Kurogane lifted his head up and kissed the blonde in apology feeling the smile against his lips.

Fay nibbled on Kurogane's lower lip as he ran his hands up and down the sides of his body, feeling his body heat up even more with his touch. He gave a soft moan as Kurogane twined his arms behind his lower back and pulled him tight against his muscular frame, lowering them back onto the bed at the same time. Fay continued his kisses along the curve from the red-eye man's temple to his clavicle; the tremors felt from deep within the red-eye man's chest moves him. This feeling they share, the touches that never fail to remind each other of their love, it always manages to overwhelm him, and to think that there was once he thought all this was impossible.

Five years had passed since the day they took that fateful plunge and the memories of it was still as clear as if everything happened yesterday. He still remembered the first time he felt pain, thirst, hunger and everything else that came with being a human, the first time he walked without feeling the weight of his wings, the first time he tasted mortal food, the first time that he had to work to earn his living and the first time they had made love. There were so many first and it was then he could finally understand what the dark ange…Kurogane had meant when he said that they could experience life and love.

Everything was so tough from the start that he didn't think that he could make it, but Kurogane was with him every step of the way. Having more experience with how men functioned with their stony politics, methodical laws, social life and attitudes, they managed to blend in fairly well. He had even learned to fall in love with the city they now reside in, Los Angeles. Fay wondered sometimes if there was any reasons that made Kurogane choose this city so aptly nicknamed, The City of Angels. Although sometimes he still thinks about their past life and how it would be if they had remained in Heaven.

But their love was something both would never regret even if they were to burn in hell for an eternity for, at least, the beautiful memories they have created are theirs to keep. And they are very aware of the speed at which time flies. The few short decades that they have while living a men are probably the only blissful respite that they could have.

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It was not true when they say the Father is all seeing…like all great emperors and kings, they see and hear not with their own eyes or ears but through those of the spies under their allegiance. Father was the same…he has plenty of angels.

Through those angels he saw what had happened to his beloved angels, Life and Death

He loves them without a doubt and he loved Life more and they have chosen to pay a painful price for their betrayal to Heaven. But he was the Lord, God…and if they had fallen for the sake of tasting love…

Could forgiveness not be at hand?


End file.
